When I Am Dead, My Dearest

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.

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Similar to her ‘Remember Me’, this poem asks the loved one (‘my dearest’) not to engage in conventional mourning rituals (‘sad songs’, ‘roses’, ‘cypress’). It expresses a detachment from the world and even from memory itself, suggesting the speaker will be beyond earthly concerns and leaving the act of remembering entirely up to the survivor’s will.

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More Funeral

Do not weep for me when I no longer dwell
among the wonders of the world; for my larger self
is free, and my soul rejoices on the other side.
Do not weep for me, for I am cradled
in the arms of God. I walk with the angels,
and hear the music beyond the stars.

Do not weep for me, for I am known.
I am loved, and I am safe from all harm.
Do not weep for me, for I shall return,
again and again, to whisper clues to you
of eternal life and growth without end.
Do not weep for me, for I am home.
If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I’m gone speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves that I have known
Weep if you must
Parting is hell
But life goes on
So sing as well.
Warm summer sun,
Shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind,
Blow softly here.
Green sod above,
Lie light, lie light.
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.
Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, ‘There, she is gone’

Gone where? Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me — not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, ‘There, she is gone,’
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, ‘Here she comes!’

And that is dying…

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