When I Am Dead, My Dearest

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.

OverView

Similar to her ‘Remember Me’, this poem asks the loved one (‘my dearest’) not to engage in conventional mourning rituals (‘sad songs’, ‘roses’, ‘cypress’). It expresses a detachment from the world and even from memory itself, suggesting the speaker will be beyond earthly concerns and leaving the act of remembering entirely up to the survivor’s will.

Share:

If someone has died, Our Family is here to help you.

Find your nearest office below or request a call back.

orpington
bromley
beckenham
west-wickham
dulwich
biggin-hill
petts-wood
camberwell
sidcup
bexleyheath
eltham

More Funeral

I’d like the memory of me
to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow
of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve,
to dry before the sun;
Of happy memories that I leave
when life is done.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I’m gone speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves that I have known
Weep if you must
Parting is hell
But life goes on
So sing as well.
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.
Feel no guilt in laughter, they’d know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that they’re not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; they would not want you to.
They’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings them back as clearly as though they were still here,
And fills you with the feeling that they are always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And they will live forever locked safely within your heart.

"We Decided to Use Udens and It was the best decision we ever made"

Watch a video testimonial from Juliet, for whom we had the honour of conducting her mother’s funeral service.

If someone has died, Our Family is here to help you.

Find your nearest office below or request a call back.

orpington
bromley
beckenham
west-wickham
dulwich
biggin-hill
petts-wood
camberwell
sidcup
bexleyheath
eltham
Google Rating
5.0
Based on 1626 reviews
×
js_loader